Sonic and the Cannibal Kawaii Waifus
by CONNORtheHEDGHOG-06
Summary: I have problems


It was Sonic's first day of school at the all-girl Kawaii academy, his palms are sweaty. The last time he was this nervous, he was fighting Dr. Eggman with no rings, his knees are weak, arms are heavy. What if he sees a real-life pair of boobs? How will he react? The closest he's ever come was that one night when Knuckles fought Shadow without a shirt on. Which is to say, he was even more shirtless than usual. He didn't have much time to think, though, as a pink-haired girl approached him, her large anime eyes sparkling.

"My name is Kuso-san. You must be the famous blue hedgehog, right? I couldn't help but notice your shoes."

"Heh, that's me," Sonic giggled nervously. Tails had never been this intimidating.

She blinked cutely and continued. "Do you need help finding your class?"

He shook the stupor out of his head, realizing that he'd been staring at her butt. He blushed, his sweating hands clasped in front of him. "Uhhh, yeah, that'd be nice. I mean, if you can keep up," he winked, resuming his usual cocksure demeanor.

"Oh, Sonic, you know I do love to take it fast," she said, her cheeks turning the same color as her hair. "Right this way, blue-boy."

Somewhere, in the bowels of the school's cafeteria, Tails panted, turned, tried to twist his broken tails to gain some air and flee this damned place. They twisted, he gasped as the broken bones all grinded together. His hands clawed at the concrete wall, illuminated between flickers of the broken lights. There were footsteps behind him, and as they grew closer, he screamed.

A cold hand gripped his, and despite his thrashing, he couldn't break the hold. He could only see what little he could gather between the sporadic flashes of light, but one thing was sure: the identity of his captor.

Dr. Eggman's mustache twitched, a spot of blood on it. The mouth beneath it grinned, that massive nose nearly touched Tails' own. As his lips parted and those teeth grew closer, Tails could feel the hot breath of a killer on his face. Robotnik had caught him before, but this time, he wouldn't get out alive.

Those teeth were sharp, the fingers dug into his arm, ripped loose some flesh and cast him aside. In the dark corner, he saw one last thing before the loss of blood took his vision.

Eggman was no man, this time. As the lunch lady drew closer, he saw the hourglass form, the hips that swung back and forth like some cruel pendulum. The blood started rushing to a different part of his body. Everything went dark.

Sonic couldn't believe his luck. Boobs weren't so scary after all. Kuso-san giggled cutely. "Oh Sonic, you're so funny," she said.

"Yep, that's me," said Sonic. "So where is our next class Kuso-san?"

"Right this way silly, oh, and there is so someone I want you to meet."

Right then they turned the corner, and Sonic saw her standing there. She had blue hair and her boobies were really big and she did that adorable half smile like in the animes that really turns Sonic on and also her eyes were green like Sonic's.

"This is Miku-chan, my sister," said Kuso-san. "We share everything!"

"Nice to meet you," said Sonic, his girl skills much improved.

"Te-heh, nice to meet you handsome," she said. "Can I touch your quills?"

"Okay, but be careful." Miku-Chan brushed Sonic's quills quently, but accidently cut her own finger and blood started coming out.

"Ouch!"

"Oh my Gosh!" said Sonic, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, I don't mind blood," Miku-Chan said, as she sucked on her finger suggestively. Sonic's face turned red as he watched her.

 _Wow, that's hot,_ Sonic thought. Then the bell rang.

"Hurry up!" Said Kuso-chan, "we don't want to miss cooking class!"

"Can I come too?" (Sonic hated cooking, but he wanted to spend time with the botches and make sure they could make his food just right)

"Of course," said the sisters in unison. "This will be fun!"

"Wow, cooking class sure was fun!" Said Sonic out loud to no one in particular. "It sure was!" said Kuso-chan. "I wasn't talking to you whore", replied Sonic. "Although that meat tasted like gay fox, or like when Tails cuts off his finger in my chili dogs". "We use a special kind of meat here", said Kuso-chan. "It helps us build up our strength for the breaking of the seventh seal. "Wow", said Sonic, "you guys sure are nutty!". Micho-chan giggled, "oh Sonic, you're so funny!" "Hold on a second bitches, I'm gonna go score another chili dog!" *"Sonic Boom" plays in background* Suddenly, glancing downward at his half eaten chili dog, he saw was not an innocently cooked piece of animal meat, but a yellow fox tail. His eyes got wide, his palms got sweaty. Everything clicked into place: The unreturned phone calls, the unpaid child support, the lack of gay sex, it all made sense now. Tails was in him all along. Sonic tried to scream, but instead he just threw up. "What's wrong Sonic?" Asked Kuso-Chan. "You…you monsters. You forgot the salt!" *Everyone laughed because it was funny*

Sonic was later consumed.


End file.
